My Crazy Food and Beverage Rules by Karen Salkin

Woman eating pizza and ClearClub logo in blue on bottom right

I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has a few crazy food rules. 

And even after all these years, Mr. X still can’t keep mine straight. They all seem so self-evident to me, although obviously not to everyone else.

But my one non-crazy rule is to make sure I pop in my ClearClub night guard after consuming, (or not), all this food and drink. (And brushing my teeth, of course.) After all, dental health is of the utmost importance at all times. And clenching our teeth without the guards on can lead to so many more problems.

Now here are some of my crazy food rules; peruse them to see if you share any with me, or if mine are somewhat worse or better than your own:

~ I love actual cherries and strawberries, but disdain cakes, pies, ice cream, or anything else containing those luscious little fruits.

~ Same with pumpkin—I love pumpkin muffins and pancakes, but hate pumpkin pie.

~Milk and soda must be drunk out of glass glasses, while water must be from plastic glasses. 

~ While we're on water, it must be super-cold from the refrigerator, unless it’s to just swallow one pill; then it can be room temp. Insane, I know.

~Hot foods must be really hot! (Temperature-wise.)

~ Soup and cereal must be eaten with big soup spoons; oatmeal and ice cream with normal size ones.

~ Soda must always have ice in it, and be drunk with a straw.

Woman eating with chopsticks and smiling

~ All beverage ice must be cubed, not crushed.

(Okay, even I think I sound kind-of nuts at this point!)

~ Cereal must be in a big bowl; oatmeal and pasta must be placed in a small one.

~ All salads must be served in a giant flat bowl, and really chopped-up.

~ All tea must contain honey.

~ I eat peanut butter, although I'm far from in love with it. But I detest actual peanuts

~ All scones must be served with clotted cream and jam or preserves. Otherwise they're not worth eating.

~ All chocolate cakes, cookies, and pancakes must be accompanied by ice cold milk.

~Hot chocolate must be accompanied by something that’s not chocolate, like cinnamon toast or a toasted bagel.

~ Which reminds me, all bagels must be toasted!!!

~ Hot dogs must have ketchup and onions on them, preferably with the bun toasted.

Okay, that’s it…for now. Is anybody out there as crazy as I am in this area?  For your sake, I hope not.

Woman putting a mouth guard in her mouth with a yellow background.

I'm sure we can all agree that keeping track of all this nuttiness can be really stressful. So that's why, no matter what each of our own crazy food rules are, we have to end the day, and begin the night, with our ClearClub night guards. The tension of remembering our own rules, not to mention the ones of the people we eat with/cook for, can give us a boatload of headaches, and our night guards absorb all that.

So, though our food and drink peculiarities might be crazy, using our ClearClub night guards is one of the most sane things you can do for yourself!


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Click HERE to visit Karen's e-zine, It's Not About where she covers just about every aspect of modern life one could possibly want in a publication: theatre, movie, television, sports, restaurants and so much more!